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TOPIC: Funny thing happened

Funny thing happened 1 week 1 day ago #140619

  • 63 Sabre
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The last summer job on my '76 StarCraft project was to put it in the water and mark the water lines before layup.
I was launching on a deserted ramp and the US Coast Guard pulls up the river in their big honking patrol boat. Three of the guys tied up and were going to do curtesy safety checks. Now you have to think about this....three guys all in uniform, life jackets on, walking along the docking area, pad and paper in hand ready to conduct business and do a check on this StarCraft. No seats, no windshield, no steering wheel, no controls, no battery, no fuel tank, just a bare hulk. The leader of the pack looked at the other two and laughed, "This guy ain't going nowhere". I wanted them to write me up for all the missing stuff so next year I can show it to 'em when it's back on the water.
When I was finished marking the lines and had a devil of a time centering it back on the trailer, was about 3" off just on the edge of the rollers. Got back on land and the three coasties came to my rescue and helped push the boat back on center...sorta an on shore rescue. I thanked them for their service and left them wondering if the thank you was for centering the boat or for their military service.
Just thought I'd share.
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Funny thing happened 1 week 23 hours ago #140628

  • Nautilus
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I ran twin Cummins V903 diesels in my 57-foot Elco that we used for wine and cheese cruises. Some DNR yo-yo pulled us over when we were underway with 20 passengers (he had his girlfriend with him?) and told me that I was putting out too much carbon monoxide. In front of his girlfriend and the 20 passengers, I informed him that 1) There are no pollution control standards for boats and 2) Carbon monoxide is odorless, colorless and tasteless so exactly how did he determine that I was polluting? He just stood there like the idiot he was and finally, I said, "Since you don't know what the hell you're talking about, we're leaving. I cranked up the engines and pulled away. He went in the other direction.

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Mentor to the unenlightened!

"Never allow logic to interfere with a boat purchase." - J. S. Hadley
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Funny thing happened 1 week 21 hours ago #140630

Classic! Can't even come close to either one of those. lol

Bob

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Funny thing happened 1 week 20 hours ago #140633

But they are from the Government and they are here to help!!! Scary thought isn't it.
Bill

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Funny thing happened 1 week 3 hours ago #140642

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The nine most terrifying words in the English language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan

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Funny thing happened 6 days 22 hours ago #140649

  • Ike
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While I was in the Coast Guard Office of Boating Safety, I actually had that sticker on my briefcase when I would do seminars and visit boat manufacturers. It was a good icebreaker. I still have a that sticker in all my junk somewhere.

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Peter D. Eikenberry
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Funny thing happened 6 days 11 hours ago #140656

  • 63 Sabre
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Hey Ike. sorta figured you'd chime in this string sometime.
Actually it was a good time. The guys were doing training exercises on the Bay of Green Bay, Wi. and just came in the river for whatever reason. There was one truck/trailer in the lot + mine. So there really was no one to "check". While we were yakkin' another family came in to launch so the guys checked their on board equipment and issued one of their inspection stickers for their windshield. I asked one if he wanted an off duty job of helping rebuild the boat. He politely declined :)
I told them that they were on speed dial along with the county sheriff water rescue. For me it's almost mandatory when you boat open water in an old boat. It was a handshake parting when I left....they were still there
Here's the landing. There boat was tied up on the side just starboard of the white Tomahawk.
The bay of Green Bay entrance is in the lower picture left side so you can see how they came in.
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Funny thing happened 6 days 8 hours ago #140659

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Cal, considering the state of disassembly your boat was in, the could just smell all of the violations from the bay lol. When you boat federal waters that are big like your back yard, it is good to know they are around to help us just in case something unforeseen happens. They were probably relieved you actually weren’t heading out for a day of fishing and instead, testing for future restoration. Like their impression walking up was - oh my... what do we have here! Safe boating to all!

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Funny thing happened 5 days 22 hours ago #140674

  • Ike
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Sounds more like Coast Guard Auxiliary than regular Coast Guard. Give me a couple of hours and I will explain the difference. In a nutshell, regular Coast Guard are LEOs. Auxiliarists are not. They are unpaid volunteers. They can do a lot of things regular Coast Guard can except they cannot give you a ticket. They do courtesy checks. That means you can say yes or no. The big honking patrol boat threw me off. Maybe they were taking a ride. If they were regular Coast Guard they probably got a good chuckle out of your offer, however if it had been me I would have taken you up on it. Should have thrown in an offer of beer. Then you wouldn't have been able to get rid of them. (I could tell you some stories, but not enough room here. Maybe some day I'll write a book. )

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Peter D. Eikenberry
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Funny thing happened 5 days 10 hours ago #140683

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Ike, this was regular Coast guard personal. We do have them on the Great Lakes in force. There is a federal CG station about two miles from where they pulled in. It is an aux station that is manned all week with minimum personal except on weekends when more recreational boaters are out in force. It's good to know they are there.
www.atlanticarea.uscg.mil/Our-Organization/District-9/Ninth-District-Units/Sector-Lake-Michigan/Units/Green-Bay/

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Funny thing happened 5 days 7 hours ago #140684

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Maybe not funny but interesting? I live on Lake Keowee, SC. It a lake about 22 miles long with a couple hundred miles of coastline. It's landlocked with dams to other lakes at either end. When I had the Matriarch (Elco), I applied for a captain's (6 pack) license from the Coast Guard. They wrote back that Lake Keowee is a non-navigable body of U.S. waters where the Coast guard has no authority so they can't issue a license.

So...I became a "captain" on my own authority and we ran that old 57' boat with 20 passengers on the lake for seven years. I didn't have to prove to anyone that I had the first clue how to operate that boat and there were no inspections other than the DNR checking life preservers every so often. I actually framed the Coast Guard's letter and hung it on the bulkhead in case questions ever came up. They never did. To me, there's just something wrong with that whole scenario.

Lastly: We needed an alcoholic beverage license for the beer and wine. We were required to post the "letter of intention" at our place of business for 30 days (I think) so people had a chance to object or whatever. I applied in December and hung the notice in the window of the boat at the end of a very long isolated dock during a very cold January. Needless to say, no one ever saw it.
Perfect!

The barefoot "Captain" at the helm.

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Mentor to the unenlightened!

"Never allow logic to interfere with a boat purchase." - J. S. Hadley
"Vintage quality beats new junk every time." - J. S. Hadley
"Anything supposed to do two things does both of them half-assed." - J. S. Hadley
"Success makes...

Funny thing happened 5 days 4 hours ago #140686

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Bravo, Kudos. That's a karma.

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Funny thing happened 4 days 21 hours ago #140688

  • Ike
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Interesting that they said it was non-navigable water. When I first got my commission as an officer I was assigned to the boating safety office in New York . The fellow I replaced was assigned to a new desk for determining what in our district (the old 3rd Coast Guard district covering 6 states) was navigable and what wasn't, that is what was Federal jurisdiction and what was state jurisdiction (and also what was both, called joint jurisdiction). I found his job to be just as interesting as mine , Boating Accident Investigations. It is amazing how Federal jurisdiction is established, or not. Waters that you would never imagine were Federal just might be, and Lakes and rivers that you would think are, may not be. I looked up the lake you are talking about. Since it was built by Duke Energy (essentially private enterprise) it is not Federal. If the Army Corps of Engineers had built the dams (as in the TVA) then it would be. However, if it could be established that the river was a historical route of commerce, then it might be.

For instance take Lake George in Upstate NY. At first glance a person would surmise it is not Federal Jurisdictions as is the Hudson river's connection to Lake Champlain, but it was used as a route of commerce (mainly by canoes) from early colonial times clear into the 20th century, so it is. Lakes that cross borders such as Bear lake on the Utah/Idaho border is, even though it has no other reason to be Federal.

Anyway. I am surprised the state didn't require a license. Most states do for waters subject to state jurisdiction.

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Peter D. Eikenberry
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"Don't tell me that I can't. tell me how I can."

Funny thing happened 4 days 2 hours ago #140699

  • Nautilus
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Remember, I live in South Carolina. That fact alone explains a lot. They don't even tag boat trailers here. Also, apparently, you can drive any car that moves. There are no inspections of any kind. Some of the things I've seen on the road you wouldn't believe...like a car with the entire front clip missing and two headlights duct taped to the fender supports. A lot of cars around here remind me of "The Road Warrior."

When you're hot, you're hot.

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Mentor to the unenlightened!

"Never allow logic to interfere with a boat purchase." - J. S. Hadley
"Vintage quality beats new junk every time." - J. S. Hadley
"Anything supposed to do two things does both of them half-assed." - J. S. Hadley
"Success makes...

Funny thing happened 4 days 33 minutes ago #140700

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Is that a beer can holding the generator up. Cool :woohoo:

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Funny thing happened 2 days 19 hours ago #140713

  • Ike
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I've got to look in my spam folder more often. The email spam filter sent this whole thread to spam.

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Peter D. Eikenberry
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"Don't tell me that I can't. tell me how I can."

Funny thing happened 2 days 13 hours ago #140714

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Ike wrote: I've got to look in my spam folder more often. The email spam filter sent this whole thread to spam.

Finally a spam filter that works properly.

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Funny thing happened 2 days 5 hours ago #140717

  • Nautilus
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Pulled up to the boat ramp yesterday with my 25' Chris Craft Concept. Got out to check that the plug was in and heard a loud hissing. Tire went flat in 15 seconds. Pulled off to the side. Went home and got everything I needed to jack up 2-1/2 tons. Found a 3/8" x 2" bolt in the tire. Good thing I had a spare but by the time I got finished with everything, it was too late to go out. Another typical day of boating for me.

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Mentor to the unenlightened!

"Never allow logic to interfere with a boat purchase." - J. S. Hadley
"Vintage quality beats new junk every time." - J. S. Hadley
"Anything supposed to do two things does both of them half-assed." - J. S. Hadley
"Success makes...

Funny thing happened 1 day 13 hours ago #140720

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You ripped a page right out of my book. Thank your lucky stars it didn't happen on the road.
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